29 mai 2006

Artificial dreamworlds
Cushions of hazy comfort

I am fleeing myself by ignoring what is bothering me, partying here and there , having a blast, and yet knowing deep down that i am just running away from me, knowing that i am using this to overcome my fears, failing helplessly.
I hate being attracted to women.
I hate seeing them day after day, beautiful girls who i know are inaccessible, girls i will never be able to touch, girls i can only watch from afar and admire. Hating my inability to go up to them and talk and get closer, hating the fact that i need to drink to be able to do that.
Hating the way i seem to be masochistic, wanting people who don't want me, craving what i don't have, never being satisfied by simply me.

simply me

2 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit…

Simply like a lot of youg lesbians discovering who they are. Simply an hard time to pass through. Simply a travel each one has no chance to live, a travel through yourself.

ptit papillon de lune a dit…

I don't think I'm 'discovering' who I am concerning that; I've known for 6 years that I'm bi.. I guess the real problem is the frustration that it brings.

Thank you for your support ;)