PRISE DE CONSCIENCE D'UN PROBLEME.
Avant d'avoir vécu une relation avec quelqu'un, mais lorsque justement le temps est venu de la possibilité d'une relation avec cette personne (lorsque cette possibilité devient de plus en plus évidente lors du rapprochement progressif des deux êtres impliqués), l'envie d'avoir cette relation disparait.
Pour avoir envie de cette relation, besoin de vivre une relation physique avec cette personne. C'est cette relation physique qui redéclenche le point de départ d'un attachement qui a disparu avec l'envie d'avoir la relation.
Or si l'envie d'avoir cette relation n'est plus, comment vivre une relation physique avec cette personne?? Pas possible, le 'degoût' serait plus fort, et anéantirait donc toute possibilité de resurgence d'envie de la relation.
Solution que mon inconscient a trouvé pour surmonter ce paradoxe (dont je viens de prendre conscience ce soir et qui explique pas mal de trucs): boire. Boire de l'alcool donne envie de faire des calins, des bisous, de combler un manque affectif que, en temps normal, je réprime.
Donc soudain, envie de vivre une relation physique avec la personne en question, bien que l'envie de la relation n'est plus. Relation physique donc. Suivi d'attachement. Relance d'envie de la relation.
Et la nette impression d'avoir 'triché', d'avoir pris le chemin facile.
Explication possible, non confirmée, de la disparition de l'envie de la relation et du besoin de vivre une relation physique avec cette personne pour relancer l'envie
Peur de la progression naturelle d'une relation, qui implique des mal-aise au début, mal-aise physique car j'inclus une personne dans ma sphère physique, qui n'était pas là auparavant; ne pas savoir comment se tenir, comment toucher, comment être à l'aise physiquement; sentiment d'intrusion, de 'viol' autorisé.
Explication possible, non confirmée, de la solution trouvé par l'inconscient pour surmonter le paradoxe
Boire conduit à la relation physique avec la personne, sans peur ni mal-aise car l'alcool les efface. Relation physique voulue, acceptée donc, plus d'intrusion, simplement la possibilité de l'envie, simplement l'envie.
Ensuite, lorsque l'alcool n'est plus, le mal-aise physique qui aurait pu être là, n'est plus non plus, grâce à la relation physique induite par la boisson.
Puisque le mal-aise physique n'est plus, qu'il ne bloque plus l'envie de la relation, celle-ci est relancée, amplifiée de plus par l'attachement créée lors de la relation physique.
Autant dire que ce serait peut-être mieux que j'aille me défenestrer.
5 commentaires:
la prise de conscience c'est un super début poulette..tout problemes a sa solution,courage.plein de bisous(ta le bonjour de gertrude)
nono,on dirait une alcooliq qui parle!!!arretes tes conneries et profite de la vie!je t aime tres fort, te voir mal me ronge... sam
Man I agree with Sam! with every word and line!
Oh hey I have a metaphor for you! Ok, so it's a woman who has to cross a road. For extra clarity, we'll call her Nono ;).
She is very scared of the cars, and they don't seem to aknowledge that someone wants to cross. She has two options, a bandana wrapped around her eyes, or a pair of binoculars. She chooses the binoculars first, and sees how fast the cars are going from far away. How reckless crossing seems, these cars look like HUGE SPEEDING MACHINES!! So she decides not to give it a try, she sees what could happen to her if she were to try crossing, she thinks she might get hurt, and takes off the binoculars.
But since she really needs to cross, she examines her next option, the bandana.
She ties it around her eyes and stupefied, realizes that there are no cars to be afraid of, since they have vanished from sight! Wonderful! She sets one foot on the road, and a car comes zooming by, honking like crazy! The driver sounded angry. She jumps back, feeling a little embarassed. Apparently, blurring her sight didn't blur her hearing.
So she puts her fingers in her ears, and gets ready to cross the road. Strange, her feet don't seem to want to move... Who's ordering this?
Then, her heart speaks: "no, no, we're not crossing this road with no eyes and no ears, we need them! The world is wreckless enough without us joining in on the gig."
So she unplugs her ears and takes the bandana off. She looks at her options, the help that is made available to her. She can either see in huge what "could" happen beforehand, OR she can block everything out. Strangely enough, neither seems to work... she looks at the binoculars "is there really need to make a problem bigger than it is?". She drops the binoculars and takes a look left and a look right, there are many cars. She knows she can't just leap onto a road, maybe she'll have to move a bit along the road, adjusting her position. Is she even in front of the stripes? But even if she isn't,
sometime, there will be fewer cars, the path will clear up, and she will then be able to cross the road unharmed, with the options she was born with and no more than those. Maybe she can light up one of those amazing smiles she produces on sunny days, who knows, maybe a driver will even slow down and smile back before the little "walking dude" on the sign turns green. If worse comes to worse, trust everyone who has ever crossed a street, the little dude ALWAYS turns green someday, then you will know, no questions asked that you can go forward with no fear.
=) Nono, I know things are hard on you and I understand that you would like it all to either meet your pace or stop. BUT!! Before you wish for things to stop, check to see if maybe you're not the one who is going too fast. I think you would be surprised. A building needs to be built before you can move in the piano, otherwise, you're just launching a piano from fifteen floors high. Just a humble series of thoughts, you don't need to take note =)
Hope the rest of your life is going well, I send you happy thoughts and mucho hugs and kisses!! And with this a-hem "comment" (it's a little too long to be a comment, isn't it? well you know how it is, you start writing and yadda yadda yadda ten minutes later you're sitll there frantically typing away and OH MY!! Wouldjyatakealookatthat? I'm doing it again...) I shall bake chocolate-chip cookies and chocolate caramels in your honor! and why not chocolate-chip cookie shaped caramels! and a caramel effigy of Pico the kellogs hound dog. Et PAF!! CA FAIT DES CHOCAPIC!!!!!!
XOXOXOX
Guess
Steph, you are very wise. I totally agree with you. Nono, stop putting yourself down, take a couple of steps back, and stop going so fast... Kisses, your Fae.
Les relations humaines sont toujours si compliquées, pourquoi ne sommes-nous pas autosuffisants et autotrophes...?
^_^'
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